Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
