What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
