tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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