Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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