Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
how can u be prego again
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
