Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
