so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
