Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
