you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
