What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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