i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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