nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
