I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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