Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
pray to the hookup gods
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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