You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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