I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The air taste purple.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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