I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My liver just broke up with me...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
