I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
