Capitaan dildo arrescate!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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