Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
