i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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