I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
