plz talk dirty to me
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
