five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We smell like vodka and hangover
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
