ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
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You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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