If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
