Buhtt sex?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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