I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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