sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
