Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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