Duck Duck Cougar?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I stole a fireplace last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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