just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
