if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
