So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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