dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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