Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.