Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.

(773): View more from Illinois

Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?

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(773): I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex. (773): Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"? http://tfl.nu/bxnr

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(281): View more from Texas

I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.

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(281): I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy. http://tfl.nu/ogyk

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(970): View more from Colorado

Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.

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(970): Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute. http://tfl.nu/y17n

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(541): View more from Oregon

dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed

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(541): dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed http://tfl.nu/93gi

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(313): View more from Michigan

So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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(313): So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale. http://tfl.nu/y4yj

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(631): View more from New York

My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..

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(631): My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms.. http://tfl.nu/s1m5

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(519): View more from Ontario

I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.

(519): View more from Ontario

She did the bend and snap...

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(519): I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy. (519): She did the bend and snap... http://tfl.nu/78hn

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(775): View more from Nevada

How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy

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(775): How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy http://tfl.nu/hobw

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(614): View more from Ohio

just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.

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(614): just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mpww

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(518): View more from New York

Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.

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(518): Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip. http://tfl.nu/y6yl

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(812): View more from Indiana

Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.

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(812): Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI. http://tfl.nu/yhyp

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(937): View more from Ohio

And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.

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(937): And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso. http://tfl.nu/q5xa

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!

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(918): You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner! http://tfl.nu/v9u1

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(404): View more from Georgia

I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.

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(404): I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things. http://tfl.nu/rlo1

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(410): View more from Maryland

well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.

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(410): well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you. http://tfl.nu/1rtw

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