I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
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if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.