brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony