i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
