dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
