Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
