hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
