Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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