OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."