Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
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One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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