All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
