can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Say something about gay babies.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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