seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he just fucked me for my cheese.
as a side note pls kill me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
