Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
