I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
