i barfeds in our rink
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
