Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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