i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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