me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So apparently I’m into choking now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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