He had one of those small greek statue penises
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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