called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
