sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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