Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
